There, I feel better..

After last night had to get some aggression out of my system.

Look, no whining here about the phantom roughing the passer call, or the non-pass interference call in the end zone which would've given the Patsies first and goal from the one yard line. None of that here. Anytime your team can't hold a 21-3 lead with three minutes left in the first half, well, you deserve to lose the game.

But... I'll be rooting for the Bears in two weeks. Not because I'm sore the Colts beat the Pats, heck, even the Red Sox eventually beat the Yankees, these things happen. But because I'm worried about that guy in the Enterprise car ads who rents a decent car for his high school reunion, you know, "Moose". What's going to happen if Manning actually wins a Superbowl? He's already on 37.8% of the advertising shown on television (ramped up to 87.6% during the playoffs). If he actually won, there'd be no work for anyone else in advertising. What would the Geico cavemen do?

And, to top it off, he's apparently an ingrate. According to SI.com's Peter King, Manning's been playing silent with the media:

The words cut and sting, and I'm sure one of the reasons Manning has cut out almost all of his one-on-one TV interviews this season is because during almost every one of them in the last couple of years, if the TV person is doing his/her job, the question about not winning a National Championship or Super Bowl is asked. And so why should Manning subject himself to weekly reminders of the pain? I totally understand his refusal to deal with the the amiable but persistent grilling."

But he's okay subjecting me to fourteen ads per hour of television? Well, screw him.

So, my fellow football fans, unite behind the underdog Chicago Bears and maybe, just maybe, we'll regain our airwaves from the dorky "6 foot five, two hundred fifty pound quarterback(s) with laser canon arms"...

Gack.

Oops, missed that...

The lovely Duff retaliated for the Christmas present tag I threw her by tagging me on this one. As a slave to the rules of the internet, I submit my contribtion.

But, as Wifeypooh is sitting across the table and scowling that I'm playing on the internet (or, as she calls it, a colossal waste of time), let's involve her. Below, in red, are her answers.

if you had to choose one vice in exclusion of all others what would it be?
WP: Junk food (as she munches on a Dorito).
Kal:

if you could change one specific thing about the world what would it be?
WP: No weapons of mass destruction. You should have to look at the people you're killing.
Kal: Like when she strangles hobos.

name the cartoon character you identify with the most.
WP: Wonderwoman.
Kal: Admit it, you're all jealous of me right now. I love the truth-telling lasso...

if you could live one day in your life over again which one would it be?
WP: No. Not interested.
Kal: See, it's hard enough to live with me the first time around, why would she subject herself to a rerun?

if you could go back in history and spend a day with one person who would it be?
WP: Elizabeth Cady Stanton. (Early female supremacist)
Kal: Admit, you're all very happy you're not me right now...

what is the one thing you lost, sold or threw away that you wish you could have back?
WP: I wish I had the flecks of gold from a river in Alaska my cousin gave to me.

what is your one most important contribution to this world?
WP: Teaching.
Kal: I think it's ensuring that I don't go out in public without pants. Left to my own devices, that would not be unusual.

what is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about?
WP: Obviously if I had a hidden talent I wouldn't mention it on the internet, wouldn't remain hidden, would it?
Kal: (smiling knowingly...)

what is your most cherished possession?
WP: Oh, definitely that big stud I'm married to. He's the best. I thank God every day for him...
(OUCH)
WP (for real): My engagement ring.

what one person influenced your life the most when growing up?
WP: (gazing at me like I have two heads) My mother (this doesn't have to be in a postive way, does it?)

what one word describes you better than any other?
WP: Clever.
Kal: (I would've said annoyed...)

God I love Scrubs...

Tonight Scrubs is doing a musical episode, partly written by (and guest starring) the folks who wrote Avenue Q, the grown-up version of Sesame Street that's touring the country.

Here's a cut from tonight, JD and Turk singing about their Guy Love...



I need a Guy Love... But not in the nasty way, only the good way, you know, like Alan and Denny Crane from Boston Legal..

Speaking of Avenue Q, and since we're all currently on the internet right now, how about a Worlds of Warcraft version of "the Internet is for porn"? Sure, I don't see why not..

(OH, and IF YOU'RE AT WORK: THIS VIDEO HAS WORDS LIKE "PORN" and "M@STERBATE" and "RICHARD", or, rather, Richard's nickname, if you catch my drift. So click at your own risk...)



Well, have a good one...

"poor bastard can't even kill himself right..."

- Don Reagan, after Bud McFarlane unsuccessfully OD'd after the Iran-Contra story broke.

Alright, alright. I said I'd end the blog last weekend. Well, I was supposed to have some downtime between ending the old job and starting the new one. Then Very Impressive Boss, who I'm working with again, called: "Let's Go! We've got to go talk to folks! Things are happening! Giddy Up!"

So I got myself sidetracked, and haven't had time to pull the plug in the manner I think is appropriate, which is to make a huge deal about the whole thing because I'm so very self-involved that I think you all care what I do.

Which, of course, you don't. But I can delude myself, can't I?

Anywho, I've spent my little mini-vacation spelunking deep within the human condition -- yes, I've been catching up on my daytime TV. But not just any daytime TV, oh no. Fox25 has a three hour block of the bastard offspring of Wapner; three glorious hours of "Judge Alex", "Divorce Court", and "Christine's Court", or whatever the damn thing is called. Usually I'm drooling onto my shirt and half-brain dead by the time the third one comes on and can't remember what it's called.

What possess these "people", and I use that term lightly, to go on these shows and put their sordid, pathetic lives on display? Well, it's money. Or at least I hope so. I know that "The People's Court" used to pay both participants the amount of the settlement. I hope to God that's what's going on with these shows. The thought that these people are debasing themselves for free is just too depressing to contemplate. (For a transcript of the best People's Court ever, go here...)

Actually, in looking around for info about this important issue on the web, I did find a Craigslist ad for a new reality show, "Pet Divorce Court", which is looking for litigants to settle their claims about pets when they split up. If you're in the LA area, and are having a hard time with your soon-to-be ex-wife over that Sharpei, by all means give them a buzz. Me, I'd just skin and eat the damn dog. Take that, you cheating, manipulating, controlling bitch... Err... Umm... Scratch that.

Anyway, it almost time for Hard Copy, so I should get moving. I leave you with a screen cap of the lovely Ms. Hudson, from "Me, You, and Dupree", which got Zero Sandras, mostly due to the presence of said Ms. Hudson.

Kate, come home. We miss you.

Un-be-freaking-lievable...

If I was a San Diego fan, well, that game would have been as horrifically unsatisfying as last year's New England meltdown in Denver. Every break seemed to go New England's way today, but... But at the end of the day, experience wins out. Experience winning, knowing how to win -- knowing not how to lose.

Cases in point:

New England driving in the third quarter. Third and thirteen, and Brady is sacked and fumbles. The Patriots recover the fumble, but far short of a first down, and probably out of field goal range. And Charger's CB Drayton Florence commits an absolutely stupid unnecessary roughness penalty, giving the Pats a first down. The Patriots subsequently kicked a field goal to close the game to one point.

Also, fourth quarter. Less than seven minutes left in the game, Chargers up by eight points. The Chargers have the Patriots at fourth and five, at the San Diego 41 yard line. Brady throws his third interception of the evening, right into the arms of SD defensive back Marlon McCree. Now, it's fourth down. If McCree drops the ball, it's San Diego's ball on the 41 (McCree is around the 25 yard line). But McCree decides to run with the ball, into a crowd of Chargers and Patriots players. The ageless Troy Brown, from his sitting position on the field, reaches up and strips the ball from McCree, and the Patriots recover. Brady has his second touchdown pass five short passes later, and the score, after a two-point conversion, is tied.

The funny thing is, the whole "drop the fourth-down interception" thing (which even I, a dumb lineman, remember from high school football practice) is mentioned in a book I'm reading, "The Management Secrets of the New England Patriots", where the writer gives this very thing as an example of the football intelligence of the Patriots. Marlon McCree is going to have a long off-season, waking from nightmares screaming "just drop the ball"...

Look at the Chargers. Who was their best defensive player? Inside linebacker, 11 year veteran, Donnie Edwards had nearly a dozen tackles and an interception. Shawne Merriman? Who had 17 sacks during his shortened (four games suspended for steroid use) season? Merriman: two tackles, one sack. In the playoffs, experience wins out.

So, Indy next. A replay of the 2003 season AFC Championship, where the Pats intercepted Peyton Manning four times, or the 2004 Divisional round, where the boys in Silver, blue and red held the ball for 37 minutes and beat the Colts 20-3.

But man, these Colts looked good over the past two weeks...

I wish I had some nails left to bite...

Yeah, yeah...

Okay, I said I'd do my last will and testament last weekend. Obvously I didn't. Been having waaayyy too much fun watching "Judge Alex" and "Divorce Court" while waiting to start the new job next week...

Here's something I found over at JibJab to tide you motherf***ers over.. (sorry, I just got in the spirit of the video...)

Oh, yeah: THIS IS EXTREMELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!

BAD LANGUAGE ALERT!!!

It's parts of "Pulp Fiction", what the f*** were you guys expecting, motherf***er....

Comings and Goings...

Comings and Goings

Well, in with the new, out with the old.

Governor Patrick was inaugurated today in the first-ever outdoor inauguration. If the cooperation shown by the weather is any reflection on the fate of the Patrick Administration, Massachusetts is about to be the most successful state in the nation. It was a balmy 50, with only a mild breeze; quite a contrast to some years when we'll have had three or four feet of snow by now and the temperature is struggling to get out of the twenties.

Clicking that picture above will take you to a few shots I took today, including a first-ever look at my squalor. Err... office.

I took my own version of the Long Walk today -- handing in my resignation and severing my thirteen year association with State government. An offer came through last night for a job I'd been sniffing around for a little while, and I jumped at it.

Signing my resignation; typed on the snazzy letterhead and addressed to a boss who himself was minutes away from his own end, wasn't that big a deal. What really hit me was sitting down with the HR person and signing the official papers executing my separation from service. This has been all I've done since college and it's seen me go from an unmarried kid of 22 who thought he was a hot shit when he got a raise to $29K after three years, to a father of two with a monthly mortgage payment bigger than my original monthly salary. This has been my life and identity since adulthood, and now I'm out... Weird.

The good thing is my new gig is related to government, and I'll be working with a good group of people with whom I've worked before, and I'll be advocating for good things -- I'm not becoming a cigarette lobbyist or something... (not that I wouldn't mind that kind of money...)

Now comes the hard part. While we're at it, let's throw all the life changing stuff out there at once:

I'm wrapping up the blog as well. There's a number of reasons; the new job is going to be challenging and I'll need to dedicate the "creative" parts of my day to it, rather than the blog; too many folks I know personally know about the blog and lately I feel like I've been writing with someone writing over my shoulder, and recently, as you may have been able to deduce, I've been concentrating on things other than Kal's World. I'd rather say goodbye than let the thing linger into bolivian, as Mike Tyson would say.

So guys, I love you all. And I want to say goodbye properly to each and every one of you, so this weekend I'll put up my last will and testament, and then that'll be it. I'll still haunt your places, so when you see that "bos.east.verizon.net" that's quite possibly me. And I'll keep the blogger ID, so I can make asinine comments on your blogs (and mercilessly taunt Gino and RW when the Pats beat Chicago in the Superbowl this year).

Actually, as a proper Boston Irishman, we're going to have to turn this sucker out right. So we'll have a drunken wake this weekend, followed by the will reading. Then we shuffle this internet coil and join the blogroll invisible...

I've enjoyed each and every one of you. And now I have to go finish cleaning my office...