The Eight Year Old Mind...
I had the following conversation with The Boy while getting him to school this morning:
The Boy: Dad, why could farting near a flame blow up your butt?
I have no idea where he came up with this. Must’ve been mentioned in Captain Underpants or something…
Kal: Well, because farts are made up of gas that’ll burn. Like people have furnaces that burn natural gas, farts are basically a type of natural gas.
TB: Oh, so if we ever ran out of heat we could just fart into the furnace?
Kal: Well, no. Our furnace burns oil, you’d have to have a furnace that burns natural gas. Oil is a liquid, natural gas is a gas.
TB: Oh, so could it burn liquid farts?
Kal: Well (I’m starting to sound like Reagan in my old age), not really. Liquid farts are poop, and poop doesn’t burn… (He’s got the soul of an engineer, but I don’t quite think he’s ready for talks of composting toilets and palletized waste and methane extraction)
TB: Yeah, so if I did a half-fart, half-poop on a candle, it would probably put it out, right?
Kal (wondering how we’re going to get out of this): Sure, that’s right.
TB: Like that time I was eating dinner and I farted and it sounded like a poop and I went to the bathroom and checked and…
Kal (interrupting) Yeah, something like that…
TB: Dad, what do you call a half-fart, half-poop?
Kal: Ummm… Well, I don’t know if it has a name? Maybe a Part? Part poop, part fart? Foop?
TB: Yeah, Foop. That’s what it is. Thanks Dad. (waves goodbye)
I can just imagine the call from the teacher when he breaks that one out with his friends….
3 comments:
in my house we called that "fluff and stuff". oh the witticisms.
That is hilarious, Kal. Your son is very...inquisitive. :)
And FYI? 'Round these parts, it's know as "shart-ing". But "foop" is good, too. :)
as long as he doesnt try to experiment with the whole half poop, half fart and lighting candles thing...
I think it will be fine.
Just in case, go get some easy whipes to have handy.
Post a Comment