I'm Going to Hell...

So, the hard drive got so farked up that I couldn't even defrag it, so it was time to clean out the "slave" drive I'd cannibalized and had mounted for back-up purposes and move some stuff over there so the kids could actually play a game without the damn computer freezing up.

So as I'm slogging through all the crap to see what I can toss, I came upon a folder of screencaps from the computer's DVD player.

Which is where I stumbled upon a bunch of screen captures from In the Cut, the 2003 movie in which Meg Ryan goes au natural. Oh, wait, I should restate that so I get a crapload of search engine hits: MEG RYAN GETS NAKED. NUDE. NO CLOTHES. BUCK NEKKID.

Here's one picture we can show on a family blog.



In the Cut features Ryan as a writing teacher stuck in some sort of imbroglio with Mark Ruffalo, who plays a detective. They get it on. Jennifer Jason Leigh is involved somehow. Frankly, I can't remember the plot at all, if there was one beyond Ms. Ryan getting all de-clothed.

Naturally I made about a bazzilion screencaps of certain scenes, which, as I mentioned, I have recently found after forgetting about them.

Couple of thoughts come to mind which perusing the pics:

1) Mark Ruffalo: I hope you burn in hell. Okay, in one two year period you got naked with Meg Ryan, and made out with Kirsten Dunst (Eternal Sunshine...) and Jennifer Garner (13 going on 30). You suck. I hope you die of some tropical rotting disease.

Could I at least smell your finger?

(ok, that was very, very wrong. I apologize...)

2) Okay, okay. Meg's like 42 in this movie. Don't care. It's Meg Ryan! And in case you google search-bots missed it, she's NAKED. It's kind of like when Tom Seaver pitched 16 games to close out his career with the Red Sox in 1986. Tom freakin' Seaver: first ballot hall of famer, best National League pitcher since, hell, Koufax? And we got to see him. Sure, there were pitchers with better stuff in 1986, but the "touch with greatness" of having Seaver was worth it. Sure, in 2003 there were other actress you'd argue would look better naked, but it's MEG RYAN!

(My life's ambition is to work as an orderly in Meg Ryan's nursing home and woo and conquer Ms. Ryan when she's 80.... That would be sooooo cool. Then I'd call my brother and say: "Oh yeah, I just had Meg Ryan"... Problem is, the bastard would've just got done shagging 65 year-old Alicia Silverstone... Jerk...)

3) The question: what to do with these pictures? The question you have to ask yourself is, what will your kids do when they find them... Because they will. No matter what kind of protection and armed vaults and all sorts of crap I put on them, The Boy will find them someday.

So you've got to figure out, what would The Boy do with them? First possibility: he would, well, do what teenage boys do when they find nekkid pictures (of MEG RYAN!!), and I'd never know about it (but the Kleenix in the downstairs bathroom would disappear at an astounding pace...). This approximates what happened when I found my Dad's stash.

Second possiblilty: he could narc me out to Wifeypooh. That would be bad. Not necessarily the possession of filthy, dirty, NAKED PICTURES OF MEG RYAN (just want to make sure we're clear what we're talking about here), but the fact that I would let my poor, innocent little 15 year old get access to them. (When, in point of fact, if he is like any 15 year old, he'll already have had access to more naughty stuff than I ever dreamt of...).

So... How much do I trust the kid?

Yeah. I thought so. Pardon me while I go delete everything and reformat the disk...