Slave to the Meme

Karamia, bored with all the football talk (and just when I thought I you were perfect...) threw a tag my way, and as a man of honor I must submit to the tag.

So here's the deal. It's the old "six weird things" meme, which Penny got me on last March on the old blog, which for some reason was five then. Except my answers really kind of sucked last time, so I'll redo it. Now, as I am perfect in most every way, I had some difficulty coming up with six weird things about myself, so I put it to a vote of the family (around the dinner table, and as much of my weirdness revolves around hygienic issues, it made for quite a dinner) and this is what they came up with.

Without further ado, here are the top six weird things about me, according to my devoted family (whom I now hate, just so you're clear):

In no particular order,

1) When I drink wine my intestines get all hot and squishy feeling, including the very end of the intestines, if you get my drift...

2) I eat in a very deliberative way, dismantling my food. So when I eat pumpkin pie I'll eat the back of the crust first, then the topping, then the pie, then the bottom of the crust. And things get eaten in order, generally from least favorite to favorite, and all at once: so peas first, then potatoes, then chicken, then grilled asparagus, for instance.

3) I have obscure pop-culture reference Tourette's and will occasional explode with "Spoon!" (The Tick's battle cry) or launch into the Dead Bishop skit (Ma, Dead Bishop on the landing!) at the dinner table.

4) When I take my socks off invariably I'll sniff them. It's not even like we're living in Victorian England and I want to see if I can wear them after another washing. Trust me, nothing that comes off this body is capable of being worn again wihtout washing. I'll even bring back-up underwear if we're going swimming over Brother-in-Law #1's pool: I'm not interested in putting dirty laundry back on my body. I think I just like to experience the relative grossness of the sock. I don't know, it's a compulsion!

5) I really, really can't stand having my second toe touched. Gives me the heebie jeebies.

6) (and I don't think this is weird at all, but the Wife insists...) I love scented candles. Love burning them (perhaps to cover up the smell of my socks I'm carrying around) constantly. Gives me a warm, homey feeling (okay, okay: I'm a big girl).

There. There's six weird things. I'm loathe to tag anyone, as it would reveal that no one's reading nowadays and all my traffic (1,200 hits in the last four days) are from Muslim perverts looking for a non-existent Zahra Amir Ebrahimi sex video link (thanks Gino.... By the way, if you're interested in the Kevin Federline-Britney Spears honeymoon video, here it is...).

(God, I'm a whore to the traffic...)

Anywho, if you're visiting, or especially if you're a member of the Daily Canon over there on the right, consider yourself tagged.

And try to get the image of a corpulent, smelly man smelling his dirty socks out of your heads...