A Guest Editorial from Recondo

Save an Action Figure, Buy a Prius

Recondo here. As hurricaine Katrina wreaks havoc in the Gulf of Mexico shutting down about a million barrels a day of crude oil production, I have an important request.

Buy a Prius.

You Goddamn wasteful jerks in your Humjobs are eating up all the oil the that Guy Al Queda and the other Axis of Dudes-Who-Wear-Long-Dresses-in-the-Desert can pump. Not only is this dependence on oil bad for our environment (oh, who gives a crap, really -- frig the penguins), or bad for our economy, but oil is serves a much higher purpose than merely allowing you fat buttomed monkeys to go to the grocery store for another pint of Ben and Jerry's.

You see, other than fueling your SUVs (so you can tote your two larval yuppies to soccer practices[soccer: pansies!]), crude oil is the basic raw ingredient in plastic. And plastic is the basic ingredient of, well, me.

And it's the hard men, er, 3 3/4 inch action figures, like me who keep you arm-chair bound, New York Times reading, John Kerry voting, wimps free. Without cheap, abundant plastic it becomes costly to repair my broken limbs and replace that stupid little gun that gets lost each time you open the package.

So save some oil. The replacement part you save might be my own.