A New Day for Kal's My World...

I couldn't take it anymore. The whining. The self-important "what kind of turnip are you" quizzes, the pompous attempts at social commentary. The guy was driving me up a frickin' wall!

I had to do it. You'd have done it too...

I knew I had to wrest control of the site from him, I knew that was the only way to make the place worthwhile. The problem was how to do it. Oh, I had his passwords, no problem there. Many the time he'd trundle off to work, forgot he spelled something wrong, and then called in, from the train, and ask me to fix it for him. But the sandals post was the last straw.

I broke in one day (I use his profile to leave flirtatious comments on Duff's site. Well, and Penny's site... and Gypsy... and Callie.... Oh, okay, just about everybody short of MD...) and noticed he was writing a post about his recent disgusting, and entirely embarrassing, recent habit of wearing socks and sandals around the house.

Now it's one thing to humiliate yourself within the confines of your home, but when it goes outside, well, you've got a responsibility to group! This couldn't stand.

So after a late night of planning with Ken (nice guy, a tad light in the loafers though, if you ask me. Not the kind of guy you'd share a fox-hole with, but good for strategic planning. And he makes a mean flan...), so, Ken and I planned all night. We knew we'd have to take the man down. Not kill him, that would raise too many questions. Something along the lines of knock him out, and tie him up in a room in the basement. Ken came up with that one. I got out of there before he started in on Desperate Housewives again. He loves that show.

Early in the morning I broke into the cabinet and found a small brown vial of the type you obviously keep very dangerous poisoin in. When he wasn't looking I dumped the whole vial into his morning coffee, and waited for nature, er.., terrible poision, to take's its course. Unfortunately, I didn't read the label first...

This was going to be harder than I thought.

Back to the drawing board. That evening the Kal watched Return of the Jedi (after the kids went to bed and Wifeypooh went out with friends: I mean seriously, where's the hookers?! This guy's a putz...). The cute err, incredibly annoying, Ewoks gave me an idea.

Allies were enlisted...



We set up.

Bam! He goes over like a redwood.

Then the crack FatCat squad swoops in and does the rest. After a minute of stuggle, his oxygen-deprieved shuts down and he passes out.


All that's left is to drag his unconcious body into the garage and pahr-tay!

So there we are. Kal will be going on an extended.. "vacation", and I'll be, err, taking care of his place while he's gone.

Enjoy.

I know I will.