Viva La Revolution

Sit-Rep* Day 4:

As you may have noticed there's been a bit of rebellion out there in the provinces. I have rearranged the links on the Daily Canon into those either for us, or against us. There can be no middle ground.

I am also in correspondence with Sigmund, to whom I have promised Duff as a concubine should he manage to topple Ltlme and gain control of her site. I think he can be bought. Every action figure has a price...

Now, as for the situation at Chez Kal:

The Girl found out about the post-revolution party and shared her concerns about certain... well... liberties taken with certain guests.

I've tried to explain to her that action figures are "legal" from the moment they come off the assembly line, but she's got it in her head that I'm to leave Hermione alone from now on. I tell you does this look like a lady who's not having a good time?

Oh well.

The FatCat is proving to be less a valuable ally than expected, as he has taken to waking me up everyone morning at 4am looking for food, after I've been up most of the night playing with Hermione doing the laundry. Fortunately he is as stupid as he is fat, and I can trick him into going into the bathroom and then locking him in there. His morale is suffering though and I will need to address the situation before too long, he was an invaluable cog in our military machine...

Ken. Ken has become somewhat... agressive. Our "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy has been updated to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Touch." He says he loves a man in uniform, but from what I can tell he enjoys spending most of his time out of his...

Good God man, get a towel

Wifeypooh has been demanding. She hasn't asked too many questions about Kal's whereabouts, but has been expecting me to fill in for him in his absence. Hang moulding? I'm three and three-quarter inches tall for goodness sakes!

I am going to go to work for Kal today, to ensure that his absence is not noted and becomes a problem. I will report back on that in tomorrow's situation report.

That will be all.

Recondo out.

(*sit-rep: that's plastic 3 3/4 action figure jargon for situation report)