"poor bastard can't even kill himself right..."

- Don Reagan, after Bud McFarlane unsuccessfully OD'd after the Iran-Contra story broke.

Alright, alright. I said I'd end the blog last weekend. Well, I was supposed to have some downtime between ending the old job and starting the new one. Then Very Impressive Boss, who I'm working with again, called: "Let's Go! We've got to go talk to folks! Things are happening! Giddy Up!"

So I got myself sidetracked, and haven't had time to pull the plug in the manner I think is appropriate, which is to make a huge deal about the whole thing because I'm so very self-involved that I think you all care what I do.

Which, of course, you don't. But I can delude myself, can't I?

Anywho, I've spent my little mini-vacation spelunking deep within the human condition -- yes, I've been catching up on my daytime TV. But not just any daytime TV, oh no. Fox25 has a three hour block of the bastard offspring of Wapner; three glorious hours of "Judge Alex", "Divorce Court", and "Christine's Court", or whatever the damn thing is called. Usually I'm drooling onto my shirt and half-brain dead by the time the third one comes on and can't remember what it's called.

What possess these "people", and I use that term lightly, to go on these shows and put their sordid, pathetic lives on display? Well, it's money. Or at least I hope so. I know that "The People's Court" used to pay both participants the amount of the settlement. I hope to God that's what's going on with these shows. The thought that these people are debasing themselves for free is just too depressing to contemplate. (For a transcript of the best People's Court ever, go here...)

Actually, in looking around for info about this important issue on the web, I did find a Craigslist ad for a new reality show, "Pet Divorce Court", which is looking for litigants to settle their claims about pets when they split up. If you're in the LA area, and are having a hard time with your soon-to-be ex-wife over that Sharpei, by all means give them a buzz. Me, I'd just skin and eat the damn dog. Take that, you cheating, manipulating, controlling bitch... Err... Umm... Scratch that.

Anyway, it almost time for Hard Copy, so I should get moving. I leave you with a screen cap of the lovely Ms. Hudson, from "Me, You, and Dupree", which got Zero Sandras, mostly due to the presence of said Ms. Hudson.

Kate, come home. We miss you.